Yes, I've read 50 Shades, no, I won't be watching the film.

I read the book to see what all the fuss was about and I have to admit that I was disappointed, and as I always seem to prefer the original book to any films made I won't be wasting my money.

Nor do I want to be the sad, billy-no-mates sitting in a theatre packed with over excited couples.

I was actually very disappointed with the the sex scenes in the book, they  were actually quite tame and nothing over the top.

I did not like Christian Grey at all, I thought he was an arrogant bastard who deserved a good beating, and not in anyway that he would have liked.  He was the sort of person who, had he attended Oxford, would definitely been a member of the Bullingdon Club.

I didn't like his mother for letting him grow up into the tosser he did.

I didn't like Anastasia (I had to google her name) for allowing herself to be bullied into the 'relationship'.  And, yes, I know that in a Dom/Sub relationship it is the Sub who has all the power, blah, blah, blah, but that is when the Sub goes into the situation willingly.  Anastasia was bullied into it.

The only person who I grew any sort of affection for was the bodyguard, Jason Taylor.  He actually seemed like someone I could have spent time with.  And whoever is playing him in the film will be the wrong choice as far as I am concerned.

A book that I much preferred to 50 Shades was 50 Shades of Alice in Wonderland, an amazing parody which will have you laughing out loud as well as being quite rude.

Will you be watching the film?