Everyone is pregnant and I want to join that club!

OK, that may be a slight exaggeration but I have at least two friends who are currently pregnant.  I have had some time out of the office recently and everywhere I go there are pregnant women too.

When I was younger, relationships and children never featured in my 'life plan'.  As I've mentioned before dire warnings from my parents about pregnancy whilst still living at home made me make myself as unattractive to the opposite sex as I could as I had wound myself up until I was under the impression that even a male looking at me could make me pregnant.

So I shut off that part of the brain that encompasses motherhood and reproduction.

But as I have got older so my desire to have a child has increased to the point it has almost become a need.

I know I could go to a sperm bank, I assume that they are available to all I have never checked, I may have just been watching too many American tv shows, but I am old fashioned.  I believe that a child should have both parents living in the same house at least, even if they aren't married.  I cringe when I hear how casually some young people tell others that their child is at his or hers Dad's house for the weekend as though that is how it should be.

At the age of 42 I have to be realistic and accept that I am never going to be a Mum, I am never going to have something so small and helpless depending on me for everything.  I am never going to have someone to mould to the best of myself and his or her Dad.  No tiny knees to stick plasters on when they fall over.  No stick people drawings to display on the fridge.

I don't know whether I would make a good mother, but I am guessing I will never find out.