Please don't think that this is a 'I'm fat and I'm proud to be fat' type post, I am fat but I am not proud to be fat, I just am, thanks to my love of home cooking and Cava. In fact, this is written in response to all the #WeAreTheThey posts.
But, yes, when I go on holiday, I wear a bikini on the beach. I have even been known to go topless on the odd occasion.
And why? Because I work bloody hard all year, that's why. I work full time and I study part time so when I go to Spain for my one week holiday abroad each year I make the most of it.
I don't flaunt my fat, I arrange my area (towel down, water, Kindle, iPod and sun cream out of the bag, umbrella up), sit down and then remove my tshirt and shorts. If I get up to go to the loo or the bar, I put my tshirt and shorts back on.
If I am going to sit around the swimming pool because I fancy a swim (I don't swim in the sea, a fish once touched my leg and I leapt about 6 feet out of the water), I wear a swimsuit as I am quite a vigorous swimmer and only have to worry about one piece, not two.
I am currently trying to lose a few pounds, but that is because I have put weight on and can't get into my holiday clothes and for 1 week a year, I refuse to buy new stuff.
Don't be ashamed by the size you are, but there are ways to act without shoving it in people's faces.
We have already established that I am fat, and that I am fat by my own doing. And if I was that bothered I would make a proper effort to lose weight.
We have also already established that I don't believe in fat-shaming, if you have accepted that you are fat and are genuinely happy to be so then how can you be shamed by someone you do not know?
The latest outrage is over this tweet by Boohoo.
Boohoo have since bowed to pressure and removed the tweet.
The people currently writing to their MPs have clearly not seen Friends. This is fat Monica from a Sliding Doors type episode. She is fat, she is happy, she is dancing. She is with Chandler who likes her for being her and does not notice her size.
If they really wanted to show a fat-shaming picture, then they could have shown any picture of skinny Monica who only lost so much weight because, back when he and Ross were at college, Chandler made fun of her weight, this shamed her into a major diet.
This happy Monica exists because in this alternative timeline Chandler was not a jerk.
So who is doing the alleged fat-shaming here? Boohoo for showing a picture of fat, happy Monica or Chandler for laughing at her weight and shaming her into losing it?
My 'ah ha' moment is not a positive one. What a surprise, I hear you all cry.
For 30-something years, I knew I was single because I was fat and ugly and weirdly, this gave me confidence. I knew that being fat and ugly made me invisible and that I could go where I wanted and no-one would see me, I joked that it was my 'cloak of invisibility' and I had mine before Harry Potter had even been thought of.
My 'ah ha' moment came about 7 years ago when I fell victim to a PUA student.
Despite just using me for fun, he did open my eyes and make me look at myself properly.
I realised that I wasn't the fattest woman out there.
I realised that I wasn't the worst looking woman out there.
But instead of this being a positive step it made me start wondering what it was that was so awful about me that I was still invisible to men.
I plucked up the courage to ask the cause of all this turmoil what was so wrong with me, but he just shrugged.
I turned inwards to try and answer this question. I stopped going out, not that I went out a lot before, after all, it was obviously an act of cruelty to impose this on the world.
I still don't know the answer.
Although if someone did appear to be taking an interest, I would probably just assume that they were also making fun of me.
I have never had a problem with the word fat. I am fat because I eat too much and don't exercise at all. I walk to and from places but I don't see walking as exercise, it is just something you do to get somewhere.
Being told I am fat and/or ugly has never bothered me because I know I am.
As I said in the opening paragraph, I am fat because I eat too much. I don't eat rubbish, I don't buy cakes and only occasionally buy chocolate as there are certain times of the month when chocolate is needed. I do eat cake if I go to Mum and Dad's at the weekend and Dad has brought cakes whilst he has been at the shops.
I don't like salad, but I do like other vegetables, I have three raised beds in my garden and grow a lot of my own, things like cabbage, cauliflower, courgette and aubergines.
I don't feel that a meal has to contain meat or potatoes to be a meal, I eat a lot of Quorn.
I just eat too much.
I know what clothes suit me, and I stick to those styles. I don't wear dresses or skirts, I stick to trousers and blouses for work, jeans and tshirts at the weekends. I don't tend to go out more than a couple of times a year, so dressy clothes are not needed.
I don't flash the flesh or wear tight things, but choose well cut items that highlight the best of me and cover the rest of me. I have no idea what size I am, when I have to buy clothes I grab a handful of different sizes and buy whichever I think looks best, it could be a size 18, it could be a size 26, I have both these sizes and all those in between in my wardrobe, and they all fit.
I am healthy, apart from a bout of Gastro-Enteritis at 6 months old, a Dermoid Cyst which required the removal of an ovary and my current mental health issues I have never had any illnesses beyond the usual childhood ones.
I don't get upset by so-called fat-shaming posts because I have no problem with being fat. I don't feel bullied by these posts either, as you can only be bullied if you let yourself be bullied.
Please remember, this is only my opinion, it is not intended to offend anyone.
.PNG)
