This fat-shaming outrage is getting old.

We have already established that I am fat, and that I am fat by my own doing.  And if I was that bothered I would make a proper effort to lose weight.

We have also already established that I don't believe in fat-shaming, if you have accepted that you are fat and are genuinely happy to be so then how can you be shamed by someone you do not know?

The latest outrage is over this tweet by Boohoo.

Boohoo have since bowed to pressure and removed the tweet.

The people currently writing to their MPs have clearly not seen Friends.  This is fat Monica from a Sliding Doors type episode.  She is fat, she is happy, she is dancing.  She is with Chandler who likes her for being her and does not notice her size.

If they really wanted to show a fat-shaming picture, then they could have shown any picture of skinny Monica who only lost so much weight because, back when he and Ross were at college, Chandler made fun of her weight, this shamed her into a major diet.

This happy Monica exists because in this alternative timeline Chandler was not a jerk.

So who is doing the alleged fat-shaming here?  Boohoo for showing a picture of fat, happy Monica or Chandler for laughing at her weight and shaming her into losing it?

Why don't I have friends willing to drive 100 miles to check on me and cheer me up?

I was on facebook recently, and in the ticker feed I noticed that someone had commented on a status, being the nosey person I am I had a look.

The person whose status it was had evidently been going through a bad time with their depression and they received so many invitations to visit people for the weekend.  Some offered to pay the train fare for them, one even offered to drive all the way to the Midlands to pick them up.

It must have been lovely for the poster to feel so loved and to have so many friends willing to put themselves out like that.  But instead of feeling happy for them, (trying so hard not to say him or her) I just thought 'where are my friends like that?'.

Why are my cries for help ignored?

Why is it acceptable for me to be lonely and see no-one from when I leave work to when I am back again, and apart from a couple of weeks a year, this is what happens.

I know I have posted before that I still have Mum and Dad, which I am grateful for, but at the age of almost 44 I STILL have nothing more to show for my life, no failed relationships, no children, no close circle of friends.

Where is my comfort blanket?

Friends, do we really need daily contact with them?

A friend is defined as

1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.

Is it possible to exist without daily, weekly or even monthly contact with friends?  I think it is.  

I have friends who I made 20 or 30 years ago who I gladly talk to if we meet, generally in Tesco, and we will talk as though we still have daily contact and weekly nights out.  I have work colleagues who have become great friends and with whom I have the occasional nights out and who have helped me through some difficult times.  I still send Christmas Cards to some friends who I met when I started primary school nearly 40 years ago.  I have friends who live a train or plane ride away who I see once or twice a year, but obviously these meetings take a lot of planning, and money, and I really do enjoy these times.

But I don't have any friends with whom I have regular contact and evenings out.  I don't have anyone who I can just call on the phone if I fancy a pint or even just a chat.

And I really don't know how to make friends, it is so much more difficult to do at 43 years of age than it is at 3 years of age, you feel so much more self-conscious.  When you are young if someone doesn't want to be your friend, no biggie, you just move on.  When you are older, and lacking in self-confidence, knock backs are harder to take.

And  I do lack self-confidence in social situations.  At work I charge from meeting to meeting with the feeling of a black cloak flowing behind me and the Imperial March playing in my head. 

 

In my private life dealings when I know I am in the right, I am the same, but stick me in a room full of people that I don't know, particularly younger people, and I just want to hide under the nearest table!

So, to go back to my original theme, no, we don't need daily contact with all friends, but it would be nice to have at least one friend who can be called on at the last minute for a get together.

And that is what I do not have.