Friday, 31 January 2014

Friends, do we really need daily contact with them?



A friend is defined as

1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.

Is it possible to exist without daily, weekly or even monthly contact with friends?  I think it is.  

I have friends who I made 20 or 30 years ago who I gladly talk to if we meet, generally in Tesco, and we will talk as though we still have daily contact and weekly nights out.  I have work colleagues who have become great friends and with whom I have the occasional nights out and who have helped me through some difficult times.  I still send Christmas Cards to some friends who I met when I started primary school nearly 40 years ago.  I have friends who live a train or plane ride away who I see once or twice a year, but obviously these meetings take a lot of planning, and money, and I really do enjoy these times.

But I don't have any friends with whom I have regular contact and evenings out.  I don't have anyone who I can just call on the phone if I fancy a pint or even just a chat.

And I really don't know how to make friends, it is so much more difficult to do at 43 years of age than it is at 3 years of age, you feel so much more self-conscious.  When you are young if someone doesn't want to be your friend, no biggie, you just move on.  When you are older, and lacking in self-confidence, knock backs are harder to take.

And  I do lack self-confidence in social situations.  At work I charge from meeting to meeting with the feeling of a black cloak flowing behind me and the Imperial March playing in my head. 


 

In my private life dealings when I know I am in the right, I am the same, but stick me in a room full of people that I don't know, particularly younger people, and I just want to hide under the nearest table!


So, to go back to my original theme, no, we don't need daily contact with all friends, but it would be nice to have at least one friend who can be called on at the last minute for a get together.




And that is what I do not have.

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