Friday, 31 May 2013

An update about my ACCA studies

I know! A post actually about the original subject matter of this blog.

I'll give you a minute to get over the shock.

Ok, so yes, this week I had my two pre-exam Question Based Days, or QBDs.

Basically the day consists of sitting a full exam but split into separate questions.  The timings per question are as they would be in the exam but we answered one question, the scripts were collected in and sent to a panel of markers whilst we answered the second question.

We were then given our scripts back for Q1 and were debriefed with regards to the questions that had been answered less well than the others.

We then answered Q3 followed by the return of the scripts for Q2 plus debrief and so on.

On both days we sat two more questions than we will in the exams but it was so draining.

I think these QBDs have both good and bad points.

  • They are as close as you can get to sitting an exam in exam conditions without being in the exam itself, as much as you try to do this at home there will always be something to distract you.  You may decide you need a cup of tea; you may be staring at the ceiling for inspiration when you notice a cobweb that needs dealing with and you cannot concentrate until it has gone; you may get bored and search the Internet for the answers and just write them out in your own handwriting with the occasional error thrown in (have never done this myself you understand).
  • You get immediate feedback to see which areas you need to do further revision in.
  • There is a tutor on hand should you need guidance.
  • There is a chocolate machine around the corner :)
  • Because you get immediate feedback and marks there is a danger that complacency can set in, the passmark is 50%, I scored 52% in the Tax QBD, this is a pass.  Because I struggle with the discipline of making myself sit down and study there is a danger that I could not bother any more.  I scored enough to scrape a pass in the mock, so there is no reason why I shouldn't do it in the actual exam with no more study.  I am not going for a prize winning script, just a pass.
  • Because you are only doing one question at a time, if you are stuck there is nothing you can do except try to figure out why you are struggling.  In the exam you could move on to the next question and come back later. So you sit trying to perfect your power-nap technique without snoring, dribbling or anything else.
  • There is a chocolate machine around the corner :)
The first day we were all very good and did all the questions closed book, just working through what we had learned and using our memorised pro-formas.  The second day, however, we all started off closed book, but were all using our pocket guides by mid-afternoon, I think we had all just had enough.

So now I just have to make myself revisit a few areas ready for next week.  I have my Tax exam on the 4th June and Audit on the 6th.

They have come around so quickly.

Tuesday, 28 May 2013

ColourB4, I bought it and I reviewed it.

I have wanted to try this for a while, I have been dyeing my hair for so long I actually had no idea what colour it is although I was expecting it to be mostly grey.

I went for the stronger of the two packs which was for 'build up', after colouring my hair every few months for over 20 years I am guessing that this means me.

This is the box.

And this is what you get for your £11.99

There is also a pair of disposable gloves.

In much the same way as you prepare hair dye for application so you do this, bottle A is added to applicator bottle B, shaken for 30 seconds and then applied to hair.

I couldn't remove the applicator cover with my gloves on so had to remove one, take off the cap and then put the glove back on.  The fluid is really watery and it STINKS, rotten eggs do not come close.  I have a reasonably strong stomach, but I started gagging and doing that little cough you do when you really want to be sick within minutes of starting to apply and it had to stay on for an hour.  I ended up removing the applicator nozzle and pouring the mixture on to my hand to speed up the application process.

It suggests that if the hair has been dyed very dark to wrap the hair in cling film to assist the reaction, I was wearing a bag on my head to try and contain the smell.

After an hour the hair needs to be rinsed for 5-10 minutes, depending on the length of the hair, it recommends using a timer to ensure that the full ten minutes is taken.

After a thorough rinsing, the part C, the 'Buffer', is applied, lathered up and allowed to sit for 1 minute.  The hair is then rinsed for a further 5 minutes.

More of the Buffer is then applied, lathered up and rinsed.  At this point the hair can be towelled dry.  However my hair was feeling like straw, which it never has done before, and so I applied some conditioner that was left over from the last dye.

Whilst my hair was still wet it was quite a weird colour and not what I was really expecting, evidently some of the dyes I have been using have included a bleaching agent as I thought I was far darker.

Three hours later and the colour was looking better but I could still smell the colour remover.  But all in all, I would have to day that it does exactly what it says on the tin.

24 hours later I think my hair finally decided what colour it was going to be.  When it was still wet it looked a brassy orange colour, when I went to bed it was almost an dark ash blonde, the next morning, a slightly darker base with lighter highlights.  It still could do with a temporary colour wash to lift it a bit.

Sunday, 26 May 2013

Sunday Night Mash Up

I have had a busy few days so that must mean that exams are nearly here and I should be revising but I am doing everything but!

Work has been pretty much same as usual, however we did have a visit to the morgue on Friday which was fascinating.

Thursday night I had a bowls match, and lost.  By the time I was playing I felt a bit niggly and twitchy but couldn't understand why.  It wasn't until I went to take my tablet on Friday that I realised I had not taken Thursday's.  I am going to have to be very careful when I do eventually come off them if missing just one can set me back.

Saturday morning I had to go into town for an appointment. I was early so had a wander around Boots (they were the only shop open at the time).  I've been looking at Soap & Glory products for a while now but just thought they were far too expensive to try but today they were on offer.

I bought shower wash, skin scrub and also a bottle of Dove Summer Glow to try and keep my Spanish tan going.

I also purchased a box of ColourB4 to remove all the old dye from my hair.  That will be subject of a separate post.

I have £20 in Costa Coffee gift cards so I decided to treat myself, unfortunately the store was having issues with gift cards but did not tell me this, or put any signs up to this effect, until after they had prepared my order so I had to pay by other methods, so I still have £20 of Costa Coffee gift cards.  But I have discovered my new favourite drink - Chai Latte.

I got home and started the housework and the laundry.

I then decided to dye my bag.  It was a light denim colour when I bought it and has faded and also picks up all the dirt, so I picked up a purple dye from Wilkinsons and I think it works.  I love the way the linings have stayed the same colour and now contrast with the rest of the bag.

Today I have planted some more vegetables (more beans, kale and marrow), done some more washing, baked an ice cream cake and stripped the dye from my hair.  Still have not opened a course book or done any revision.

The ice cream cake is fab, although I think I need to increase the quantities for next time as it ended up a bit thin.  It tastes a bit like a cakey scone.  I only had vanilla ice cream in the house so added some raisins but I will try it with other flavours too.

I am now just watching the telly.  I will do some revision tomorrow.  Honest.

Saturday, 25 May 2013

Being myself again.

After five years or so of trying to be someone else I am slowly rediscovering the real me again.

I was trying to reinvent myself to become the perfect woman for the object of my desire, trying to mold myself according to his current tastes (I did draw the line at some things).

I already had tattoos but I had more, I had body piercings.  I started dressing in more revealing clothes.

None of it worked.

But I have noticed that recently I am dressing much more like I used to, when I just dressed for me.  Skinny black jeans, band tees, chunky boots and hoodies.  Not much I can do about the tattoos but I am happy enough with the ones I have.  One of the piercings has been removed, the other one will probably come out soon too, it has probably only lasted this long as I often forget about it.

I am still making regular trips to the hairdressers and I am still having my eyebrows threaded but that is because I think it looks better.

Outside of work, black is becoming the main focus of my wardrobe again with the occasional purple garment.  I am still buying other colours, for example, blue jeans and dark blue tops, my 'summer wardrobe'.

I am dyeing my hair again, I have dusted off my box of nail varnishes.  I am feeling better.

Funnily enough, whilst I was spending so much time and money to resemble the string of girlfriends, the latest, and longest serving, seemed to be copying me!  

I got an asymmetric haircut, a couple of months later so did she.

I started a training course for a professional qualification, so did she.

When I started a second training course, so did she.

I set up an account with a particular social network, so did she.

And the list goes on.

I am still waiting for the blog, but it just may have not come to my attention yet.

I may spend the rest of my life single, but at least I will be being myself.

Sunday, 19 May 2013

Sunday Night Mash Up

This week I have been mostly in Spain!

As you know, I had been let down by my travelling companion and was not looking forward to going by myself as I had such a lousy time the last time I holidayed by myself.

But I had a fantastic time!

Despite the weather being cold (to the point I was sleeping in a tshirt OVER my pyjamas and bought jeans and cardigans as my packing had mostly been shorts and tshirts), I thoroughly enjoyed myself.  I did what I wanted, when I wanted like I used to do on holiday before I stopped going by myself.

No nudist beaches, no having to get back for a nap in the afternoon, no having to be quiet for a couple of hours in the morning when I woke up, leaving the pub when I wanted to, not going to the pub at all if I didn't want to.  

Thursday it rained all day so after a walk down to the cafe at the other end of the town to have a hot chocolate I came back to the room and did some studying.

This was the view from (our) my room.

I had two extra leg room seats to myself both ways, and with no-one booking the third seat in the row I was able to stretch right out for a sleep.  Bliss.

I spent a couple of days in Barcelona visting the Chocolate Museum and Parc Guell.  The first weekend I was there, there was a festival of giant puppets in Calella which fascinated me.  I wont post any more photos here, but here are links to Gigantes and Parc Guell boards on my Pinterest wall.

Thursday night we had a terrific thunderstorm which cleared the air, Friday was then blisteringly hot so I finally made it on to the beach.  As there was a breeze coming off the sea I forgot how hot it was when I became engrossed in my book (I was reading Neverwhere) and I left the beach about 3 hours later looking like a boiled lobster, even my legs which never change colour.  I am going a nice colour now, but it is a bit patchy.

I will be going back this year hopefully, I just need to work it around everyone else's annual leave at work, and my studying.

Despite feeling so positive all week, as soon as I walked through my front door I felt as though a plug had been pulled causing me to suddenly deflate.  When I was away I was happily wandering about, walking to the shops and the cafes, now I was home I couldn't even conjure up the enthusiasm for the 10 minute walk to Tesco so ended up with toast.  Again.

I have been trying to keep myself busy today, several loads of washing has been done, dried and mostly been put away.  I have checked on my vegetables which seem to have doubled in size whilst I have been away, although a couple seemed to have succumbed to the frost we apparently had.

Back to work tomorrow so hopefully routine will help me.

A Silver Spoon? I don't think I am.

Recently I was called a 'Silver Spoon' and this really annoyed me.  It takes a lot to rile me, names certainly don't do it.  I've been called fat, ugly, useless so many times that it is water off a duck's back, but this stung.

The Wikipedia definition of Silver Spoon is this...

The English Language expression Silver Spoon is synonymous with wealth, especially inherited wealth; someone born into a wealthy family is said to have been 'born with a silver spoon in his mouth'.  As an adjective, 'silver-spoon' describes someone who has a prosperous background or is of a well-to-do family environment, often with the connotation that the person doesn't appreciate or deserve his or her advantage, it being inherited rather than earned.  It has been used in cultural or political situations to describe someone as aristocratic or out of touch with the common people.

Yes, the house is paid for.

Yes, I have always tried to go on holiday twice a year (a weekend in the UK and a week in Spain).  I have not always been in a position to afford this, but it has always been my aim.


I left school at 16 and went straight onto a YTS scheme with the local Health Authority, earning the princely sum of £28.50 per week and, I think, £2 towards my bus fare.  Previous to this I had worked weekends and school holidays in Woolworths.  And apart from two periods immediately after being made redundant (once from an Insurance company and once from a major High Street retailer) I have worked ever since, sometimes doing 60 hours per week.

I have just completed 3 years of working full time and studying part time, and I have now started my ACCA qualification (hence the name of the blog) so I am currently working 37.5 hours per week, travelling to and from work for 15 hours per week plus studying.

So how someone who, at the same age as me, has never worked a day in her life, instead going from relationship to relationship collecting children and their associated benefit income along the way, spends most of her days in various pubs, still with assorted menfolk AND goes on holiday every year (with what and from what I have yet to discover) feels qualified to call me 'Silver Spoon' when everything I own has been worked for I do not know.

I don't work because I want to, I work because I have to.  I am doing all these qualifications so that I can get as much money for working as I can so that I can retire sooner and start living the life of the benefit scrounger, except that I will be paying for it all.

Please, if anyone does think the above makes me 'privileged', let me know!

Saturday, 18 May 2013

You couldn't make it up!

Some women seem to attract abusive men, some seem to attract married men.  Me?  Turns out that I attract the criminal fraternity.

I am not going to name names here, but neither am I speaking out of turn, everything has been on the news, in the papers or on Crimewatch, yes you read that correctly, Crimewatch.

Out of the 5 dates that I have had in my entire life (we will ignore the ones that I thought were dates but have since been informed that they weren't, could have fooled me), 1 was later arrested in connection with a murder.  He was bailed and then later released due to lack of evidence.

When I was in Spain I discovered that someone that I used to spend time with when I was on holiday had made the Crimewatch Most Wanted list earlier this year, he has since returned to the UK and handed himself in.

But a note to the authorities, if you are looking for someone, check facebook, the likelihood is they will be on there posting their whereabouts.

Thursday, 16 May 2013

I want sex.

There, I've said it.

It's a topic I have not discussed before in case family should read this blog, but do you know what, I am over the age of consent (just about) so why not?

Due to my upbringing and the warnings of dire consequences should I become pregnant whilst still living at home I was late to the delights, or otherwise, of sex, not losing my virginity until I was 40 years of age.

It was when I had made the decision to lose my virginity, and thought I had found the right man to lose it to, which in a way I did, that I discovered that I suffered from Vaginismus (see, the floodgates are open now). We were able to discuss ways round this.

Having completed some research with the help of good old Google, I purchased some dilators (I went for the plastic rather than glass, I just had visions of the glass ones shattering *shudder*).  After several weeks of working through the various sizes of dilators I was finally ready and the deed was done.

I am glad that I lost my virginity to the man that I did, we had been friends for a long time and I felt very comfortable discussing my issues with him, he was very helpful with his ideas and suggestions.  However, the sex did not satisfy me even with a variety of techniques, positions and even locations. I do put this down, at least in part, to the Depo-Provera injections I have.  Again thanks to Google I have discovered that this drug is used as a chemical castration in the USA.

We have since lost touch and I lost all interest in sex and have not given it another thought for the last 18 months or so.  One of the side effects of my anti-depressants is a lack of sexual interest, as I have had no interest I did not give this a second thought, how can something reduce interest in something I have no interest in in the first place? 

However, today I was sat in my hotel room reading and watching the rain coming down when the couple in the next room found their own way of passing the time, and they weren't going about it quietly.  And I realised that for the first time in a long time I wanted sex!

I am not the sort of person who could just pick up a random bloke in a bar, it is not how I have been brought up, plus due to my Vaginismus I need a good 3 weeks notice of sex to prepare myself, at least until it becomes a regular event, as my muscles repair themselves and tighten up.  But I now have to accept that this feeling may be something that may well rear its ugly head, in a manner of speaking, now and then.

So there we go, another revelation of this holiday.

Friday, 10 May 2013

On paper I am ready to go, in reality I'm still not sure.

Eyebrows have been threaded, clothes bought, returned and more bought, euros have been collected.  Toiletries purchased and the case is packed.  I have also attempted to wax legs and armpits, but that is a whole other post.

The case feels lighter and it is certainly more neatly packed than it was for Great Yarmouth, I haven't even had to open the extension on it and yet I have just weighed it and it is 6kg heavier than it usually is for a week in Spain.  I can only put it down to my ACCA books weighing more but taking up less space, but I have no idea why it feels lighter when I pick it up.

I have 20 kg of hold luggage included in my ticket with Monarch airlines, I bought an Essentials pack when I booked the tickets so the cost of the hold luggage was included as was the little bit of extra allowance.  However I have since discovered that had I not booked my flight so early I would qualify for a further 3kg of allowance as they have increased the allowances for flights booked on or after the 12th April 2013.

Surely all luggage on the flight should have this allowance, why should someone who booked on the 11th April be entitled to less than someone who booked the same flight and essentials pack the next day?  

I am just on the 20kg limit (according to my scales) so do I take a few bits out or do I leave it and hope that that my scales are wrong?

Tuesday, 7 May 2013

I found my purse! Yeay! So I went shopping, ooops.

I got to work this morning and there was my purse having a little snooze under my desk.  So to celebrate I went shopping.

As you know from previous posts, I have no idea what I am taking on holiday with me to wear in the evenings, daytime I will just be in shorts and vest tops, but I wanted something a little dressier for the evening.

I called in Dorothy Perkins on the way home from work and had a quick look round (it's an hour plus on the bus so I didn't want to be in the shop too long).  I found a pair of navy Capri pants and 3 coordinating tops in various blues.

All but one item need to go back.  Why can't manufacturers agree on sizing?  Why is an 18 in one store comparable with a 16, 20 or 22 in another.  Is it too much to ask to not have to take several different sizes into the fitting room?  

I am not the sort of person who knows she is a size 18 and will not try anything on in a bigger size.  I would happily admit to being a size 26 if it meant that I could just go into a shop, pick something up off the rail and know that it would fit.

I have items in my wardrobe that range from a size 16 to a size 24, because they are all different styles and from different stores they all fit.

It is the same with underwear.  I have been going to Bravissimo for the last few years as they provide a great service, everyone is lovely and since I started getting fitted every year a lot of my back pain has gone.  But even there I purchased 3 different bras - one for work, one a little bit nicer for weekends and a 'going out' bra.  Three different styles, three different manufacturers and three different sizes and, despite having one boob approximately 2 sizes smaller than the other, they all fit perfectly.

Does anyone else wish manufacturers would get together on this?

Monday, 6 May 2013

Bank Holiday Monday

I was still awake just after 4am.  I tried to get back to sleep but gave up just after 6 and got up.

By 7am I had the first load of washing in and had finished my planting.  I now have cauliflower, broccoli, runner beans, french beans and string beans, along with my rhubarb.  

I did 4 loads of washing and got it all dry, it's bliss to not have damp washing all over the house. Not sure if my washing machine knew what had hit it.  I am sure I heard it sigh when I switched it off.

I have made a start on my pre-holiday to-do list, well I have got some clothes out ready to pack anyway.  Still haven't got around to checking in for my flight yet, or printing any documents off, or taking a bic to my legs.

I have found time to have a nap though.

I have also made a much more successful attempt at a rhubarb sponge with the rhubarb I picked this morning.

I am only at work 3 days this week, hopefully when I get into the office tomorrow my purse will be waiting for me on, under or in my desk!

Sunday, 5 May 2013

Sunday Night Mash Up

This week I have been mostly at college.

I have had four days of Tax revision, a day at work and then two days of Audit & Assurance revision.  On Friday (my one day at work) I managed to leave my purse at work, I did not discover this until Saturday morning when I was heading off to catch the bus and train to Birmingham.

At least I hope it is at work, if it's not then I am stuck!

This is the view that I have had all weekend.

Not the most inspiring it has to be said, but at least we got to see a bit of the sky, the room we are normally in just looks out at a brick wall.

After I escaped this afternoon, I took a few photos out and about in Birmingham, it is unusual to see the sun so I thought I would record it for posterity.

Now I know I am female (I am, I checked) but I do not understand some of my gender.  All through the never-ending winter and bad weather some were wearing tiny skirts and tops only just big enough to hide next week's washing, but as soon as the sun comes out and the temperature goes up they all start wearing floor length maxi dresses.  Can someone explain this to me?

Did anyone see last night's Doctor Who? Or should that be Carry On Doctor Bournville?  I am going to have to watch it again as I really am not sure what was going on, I think I started playing Candy Crush Saga partway through.  I had forgotten it was on and missed the first 5 minutes anyway.  Next week's episode appears to be sponsored by Merlin Entertainment and the Doctor seems to be being assimilated into the Borg.

Tomorrow I really need to start getting ready for the holiday, I still have absolutely no idea what to take!

Friday, 3 May 2013

Today I was compared to Miranda. Rude.

Actually, it wasn't rude as I have compared myself to Miranda many times in the past.

And actually it was my blog they were referring to, saying it reads as a cross between Miranda and Bridget Jones (I do have the pants).

For those who have no idea who I am talking about, here is a clip.

I am not quite as clumsy as Miranda, never having had my trousers fall down in public, but I do struggle to wear a heel.  Such fun!

Thursday, 2 May 2013

As I was elbowing my way out of the train station earlier.

I had a thought.

How many miles do we walk in a year, in a lifetime, because other people get in our way.  I know I am a bit of a geek, but I would love to know how long my regular journeys would take if I was able to walk at my own speed following the optimum route, without all the little detours caused by people suddenly stopping, or deciding to have a group chat just outside or inside an entrance.

I know everyone walks at different speeds, and I am not having a go at people who, for whatever reason, genuinely walk slower than I do.  My beef is with people who suddenly stop to look at something, or get something out of their bag, or look at their phones whilst in the middle of the main flow of footfall.  If you need to take stock of where you are, or need to look at or for something, move to the side and out of the way.  Certainly don't get off the escalator and just stop.

With this current 'me, me, me' trend people seem to have stopped being aware of what is going on around them with everyone believing that they, and their journey, are obviously far more important than anyone else's could possibly be.  This is made obvious by the people who sit on buses with their mobile phones belting out 'music' for all to hear instead of using earphones.

This morning, for instance, I was queueing to get on to the escalator after I had left the train, I could see an older man in a suit inching closer and obviously trying to get in front of me.  He soon learnt that he was trying to push in front of the wrong person.  I do feel bad that having to stand one step behind me was going to make him so much later to wherever he was going than standing one step in front of me would have done, but thems the breaks.

In happier news, I have won a £10 voucher for Costa Coffee from Freederm.  It is supposed to be used to treat the winner and a friend to coffee and cake, but it will do me twice.

I also have my first Bloglovin' follower, so thank you, you know who you are! :)

It just hit me in the shower.

In 9 days time I will be sat in my extra leg room seat on a Monarch plane on the way to Spain for a week.  AND I AM NOT READY!

The accommodation, flights and transfers are paid.  The insurance is arranged.  Spending money has been saved.  But otherwise, mentally and materially, I am not ready.

I need to get my money changed to euros, I need my eyebrows transforming back into two separate entities. I have nothing to wear at night should I leave my room, I have been running through what is in my wardrobe and nothing seems suitable.  I don't even know what sort of thing I would want to wear at night.

I will be wearing the same shorts and tshirts that I have been wearing for the last 4 or 5 years.

Last time I went to Spain by myself I had a wasted week.  I left the room during the day only long enough for the maid to service it, I would go for a couple of drinks after dinner and then be back in the room by 8pm.  By Wednesday I was not going out after dinner, by Thursday I was not even going down to dinner.

I said at the time that I would not go away again by myself.  I only made the decision to go this time as my friend was coming with me, now that they have cancelled I really do not want to go. But I don't want to lose the money I have paid out.

I will be taking my ACCA books with me, if I am going to be stuck in my room alone for a week I may as well make use of it.

Any suggestions as to what I should wear at night would be gratefully received.

Wednesday, 1 May 2013

Birmingham Birds.

Day 3 of this week's 6 training days in Birmingham today.

Rushing back to the new New Street Station I passed the remains of the Farmers Market.  There was a covered area with birds of prey in it, they were collecting money for the Central England Bird of Prey Sanctuary (link here CERR)

I wasn't able to stop and have a proper look as we were a little later out from the classroom than usual and I was hurrying to catch my train but I managed to get a few photos.

Not brilliant quality as they were taken on my phone.

These people do wonderful work so if you see them about, stick a couple of coins in their collecting tin.

Another bad night's sleep.

I feel like I am in a vicious circle.  I fall asleep by 8pm at the latest either on the settee or in bed.  

I wake up around 2am with a bursting bladder and feeling so hungry I feel sick.  I deal with one issue in the usual manner and the other by drinking a glass of water (I refuse to start eating in the middle of the night).  I don't know why this is happening, I never go to bed hungry and the bathroom is the last place I visit before I hit the sack.

I am awake for a couple of hours usually falling asleep just as my bladder starts shouting at me again.

When I eventually do get back to sleep I go deep, really deep.  At 5am my alarm goes off and I wake up fast feeling like I have had no sleep at all.  All I want to do is go back to sleep but I can't and I feel drained all day.  I am then so tired by the time I get home and have eaten that I am falling asleep again.  If I do force myself to stay awake later than my body tells me (and by later I mean till 9 or 10pm) it just means that I struggle to get to sleep, sometimes still being awake at midnight.  I will still wake up in the early hours with a full bladder and hungry sick feeling so all I have done is deprive myself of even more sleep.

Yesterday I almost fell asleep in class and I am enjoying Tax, Heaven help me at the weekend when I have two days of Audit & Assurance zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........

I know the doctor said that the tiredness would be the hardest thing to correct, but it seems to be getting worse not better, I can't seem to see an end to it.

I am becoming more forgetful too, I can remember words to 80s songs that I have not heard for 30 years, ask me who borrowed £150 off me twenty-something years ago and never paid me back and I can tell you, ask me to recite all the lies someone has told me and you will beg me to stop.  But ask me why I have walked into the kitchen from the living room and I would not be able to tell you. I am finding it harder to remember to take my tablets and surely that should be getting easier as it becomes a routine.

There was dementia and Parkinsons in the family and I am worried that this is the start of it.  It probably isn't but worrying does not help the sleeplessness.