Friday, 2 May 2014

Too depressed to work but not to party.

So 'White Dee' from that wonderful television programme 'Benefits Street' is in Magaluf to host a party for fans of the show. To be a fan of the show I am guessing that you have to be claiming benefits, no right-minded working person could ever call themselves fans.

Apparently she is not being paid for this shindig, but hopefully, as she is out of the country and therefore unable to work, I assume that her benefits are being cancelled and that she will have to reapply on her return to the UK.  (I know this is what happens as I was made redundant and had my benefits stopped for the week I spent in Spain, even though it had been booked 4 months before I had any inkling that I was being made redundant).

Apparently she cannot work because she is too depressed, obviously doesn't stop her going out and enjoying herself.

And she is not the only one.

I know someone who has not worked in all the years I have known them, apparently due to depression.  However that depression has not stopped them going out drinking, partying and meeting up with friends to go shopping to spend their hard earned benefits.  Although too depressed to work, they were able to meet someone and get pregnant.  They are not too depressed to go on holiday (I still don't understand why you need a holiday when you don't work).

My depression affects me in the opposite way.  I have always been able to get myself to work, apart from two periods of redundancy for which I received the absolute minimum in benefits (JSA and council tax paid), and the brief period which actually prompted me to seek help, but once I get home from work I struggle, and I mean really struggle, to leave the house.

I have lost count of the times I have gone to bed hungry, because although I could afford to buy food, buying food would mean having to leave the house.

Even now, after having my meds doubled, the only place I ever want to be is in bed, with the covers over my head. 

I can count my non-work-related nights out over the last 5 years or so on one hand.  

On an 'up' day, I have booked tickets for concerts, I have booked nights in hotels, all of which I have not turned up to as I just couldn't leave the house when the time came.

I think it says a lot about how you were brought up.  I was brought up to just deal with things and get on with it.

There are some days when I wish that I hadn't.

1 comment:

  1. Fantastic post, too many people get away with being "depressed" when they're obviously not. I can't leave my home either, I suffer with a personality disorder and cannot be around people so I'm stuck inside day in, day out and I can't even bring myself to think about socialising - it's terrifying!