Another Christmas as a single woman.

Every year I say that 'this is going to be last Christmas and New Year as a single woman', and every year it isn't.

I watch everyone worrying about what to buy partners, children, the world and I wonder why people seem to make such a big thing about this time of year, why do they get into debt to buy presents, why the panic about not being able to get cranberry sauce?

Would I be like that if I wasn't single?

I'm guessing I will never find out as I am never going to be anything but single.

I leave the house for work, college and holidays and that is it.  Thanks to my medication, going to work and college is no longer an issue, leaving the house to go on holiday is still a struggle.

And when I do get out, I always holiday in the same place, and much as I love my time there, (if I get there, I have booked hotels and not used them) I know everyone, and I am never going to meet anyone.

I have tried online dating, it wasn't successful.  Although that is probably a good thing as I would have had to force myself to leave the house to meet up.

I do get annoyed when I hear people complaining about being single for weeks or months.  Try 43 years!

Whilst I was looking for a suitable illustration for this post, I came across this item from The Mirror, it's a Christmas survival guide for singles. 

1. More money to spend on yourself - yep, bought myself a new duvet and pillows, boots and smellies.
2. Don't be the only single person at the party - what's a party?
3. Go for a winter escape - I was intending to, but outside forces (I shan't say what) put paid to that idea.
4. Fill your time - I'm working most of Christmas and have no-one local to meet up with anyway.
5. Catch up with family - I see Mum and Dad every day, I have no brothers and sisters.

Bah Humbug!

Pop Up Dating Agency Needed!

Bit of a silly post today as I am obviously in an upswing.

As regular readers know, I have issues with meeting people and also leaving the house, the two together are not conducive to meeting someone.

However, when I am away from home I am a different person, more happy, more confident, more outgoing.  And this is when I also more open to getting out and meeting someone, which is a bit silly when you are thousands of miles from home.

So I need someone to set up a dating agency that you can join, whenever and wherever you are, to meet people who are local to your home address, after all, who wouldn't want a holiday romance to carry on if it could?

So, there we go, an opportunity for an enterprising soul.

Tired Of Being Single? the ad said, yes I thought and bought the book.

And I read most of it open-mouthed in disbelief.

First of all, the subtitle is 'Become The Woman Every Man Wants'.  Why?  What is wrong with being me?

I am supposed to stop fearing being single.  I am 43 years old and have never had a relationship, I think I have passed being scared about being single.

And apparently I am embarrassed, ashamed and afraid of being single.  I am embarrassed by several things, but being single is not one of them.  I am (slightly) ashamed of being a Cliff Richard fan, but not of being single.  I am afraid of frogs, but not of being single.

I am supposed to date several men at once, the one that REALLY wants me will make the effort to let me know.  Seriously, if I could get ONE bloke who wasn't involved in a murder investigation or a Crimewatch Most Wanted List to go on a date with me would I have really have bought this book?

Why should I have to change myself to attract a man?  I have tried that in the past, and spent £000s doing it, all to no available. Why am I not good enough as I am?

Yes I am overweight, and yes I am not particularly attractive, but and it is a big but(t), I work full time, I hold a responsible job. 

I am currently studying to become a qualified accountant (whilst I am working full time), I can cook, I can clean, I can perform basic car maintenance, I don't tend to panic without good reason.  

I see myself as like Chummy (from Call The Midwife), ungainly, a bit shy but very capable, in fact, if I had been around in those days I probably would have been in demand.  

But, both fortunately and unfortunately, it is not the 40s/50s and as far as I can see, men are looking for something that I do not have and no amount of books will help that so I don't know where to go from now on.

All I know is that I do not want to spend another Christmas/New Year/Birthday as a single person.