And so to the end of week one.

I have now been on my medications for one week and I am feeling good.

I am not about to start training for a marathon, I am not even ready to start doing the things I used to do without a second thought a few years ago but I am feeling better than I have for years.  My aches and pains are going or gone.  Events that would have had me sobbing in a big heap on the floor a week ago have been muted into annoyance and disappointment.

On the downside I am still really tired but that might be just my body starting to recover.  I have also broken out in some massive boils and spots, but again that could be my body cleansing itself and hopefully I won't have too many more as everything starts to settle down.

As I cannot drink alcohol whilst on my tablets I have treated myself to some alcohol free wine so I shall be sampling that shortly with my pie and mash.  So classy!

Calming Down.

I haven't posted yet this week as I have been in a bad mood after being let down again, it's my own fault, I really should have learned my lesson by now.  And that is all I am saying on the matter, I could say more but I won't.

This week I have had my final lessons on Tax, I now just have revision days to look forward to, I still have Audit (zzzzzzzzzz........) classes remaining, plus revision and then the exams, just 7 weeks away.  On the plus side, it appears that I will not have to pay to not sit exams.  As I have AAT Level 4 I qualify for 3 exemptions (F1, F2 & F3) for which a charge of £77 per exemption was applicable, however, it seems that as I sat the revamped AAT syllabus I have no charges to pay.  Also, and I am going to whisper this as I do not want to jinx it but my employers have had the invoice for my current studies for nearly two months and have not yet asked for my contribution, sssshhhhh.

I am feeling much better these last few days, the aches are going at last but I just feel so tired, I struggle to stay awake past 6.30pm.  I am going back to see the doctor next week so I will be able to update her.  She did give me a number to ring for counselling, I have dialled the number at least 4 times now but put the phone down before it was answered.  I will go through with it soon, I just need to build up to it.

My Mum picked me up some Vitamin B12 tablets as this was one of the deficiencies my blood 

test revealed, but when the entire contents of the bottle fit into the lid with space to spare you would think that the manufacturers would use a smaller bottle, or at least make the tablets bigger.

I returned to work today after 2 days training to find that one of my lovely friends had left two bottles of alcohol free beer in my desk drawer to try, I can't drink alcohol now as I am on anti depressants so I shall be trying one of those later, if I can stay awake.

Sunday Night Mash Up

What has happened this week?

Monday was a Bank Holiday so it was another four day week (was that really only last Monday?) but I managed to get lots done for the first few days back at work.

Thursday night was my first Crown Green Bowls match, I scored 6 points which I didn't think was too bad for my first time out, hopefully I will get better and it wasn't beginners luck.  I can't really see me staying on the team after this season as it hasn't really grabbed me (I know I have only played 1 match, but sometimes you just know).

I was warned that I would really ache when I got up the next morning but I didn't.  I assumed that the 25 minute walk from the bus had stretched it out of me but it caught up with me in the evening.

Friday I had my GP appointment and came away with prescriptions and options.  It was a shock when I paid for my tablets, £15.70!  It has been so long since I have had a prescription from a doctor that I had no idea how much the charges were.

I have now taken 2 tablets and feel a little bit jittery and on edge, as though I am waiting for something to happen, I also feel as though I need to keep moving about.  I was warned about side effects but that they should only last for the first 2 weeks.

I feel really tired too but that could be as much to do with my disturbed night as it is my tablets, I was awake for about 3 hours during the night so I was able to catch up with Doctor Who, Law & Order SVU and Law & Order Criminal Intent.

Last week's Doctor Who felt like a rehash of a previous episode and last night's felt like the Jackanory version of a story, it also felt very familiar once again, (wasn't a HooLooVoo a character in HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy?).  Hopefully next week's will be better as it was written by Mark Gatiss.

The squeamish amongst you may not want to read the rest of this paragraph.  A few days ago I discovered a spot when I was in the shower, I didn't give it much attention as spots come and spots go.  Today it was still there so I had a proper look at it, it was actually a massive boil.  It is now dealt with but has left a big hole which I have treated with Tea Tree oil.

I have 3 days at work this week, and 3 days with my training provider and then next week just 3 days at work before I go to Great Yarmouth.

Have a good week everyone.

Get in the papers, get free stuff.

Yesterday I became aware of an article, well several articles when I looked into it, about a couple who have switched off their central heating in protest at the price of gas.  And that's fine, but it is only going to be effective if everyone, or at least a vast majority of gas users turn their central heating off and this will never happen.  And really, do they need to go to every paper and television station to explain how they are keeping warm.

Most of us over a certain age will have grown up in cold houses as central heating was not available to the average person in the street.  We grew up with the 3 day weeks and constant power cuts, going to bed when the sun went down as you couldn't put the lights on.  In the winter, it was not unusual to wake up in a bedroom which had ice on the INSIDE of the windows (no double glazing), I know I am not the only one to do this.

Ice on a window, not an unusual sight even on the inside.

Even now, the house I currently live in, and have lived in for nearly 19 years, does not have central heating.  I have an electric fire in the living room and a plug in radiator for the bathroom.  I currently have a sheet, 4 blankets and a duvet on my bed and I have been known to sleep in dressing gown and hat as well as pyjamas and socks.  My hot water bottle is my best friend.  The thermometer in my bedroom shows that the room rarely gets above 60 degrees in the winter, usually nearer 52 or 53 degrees when I go up to bed.  I have had bath water freeze as it has gone down the plughole into the drain pipe leaving me to scoop the water out and into the toilet (the soil pipe being of a wider diameter does not freeze) to release the pressure on the down pipe, and occasionally I have to run the shower gel and shampoo bottles under the shower to loosen them up a little.  These are the things that I just accept as the norm, at least for now, and there must be others out there who have little or no heating for one reason or another

I am so used to sleeping in the cold that when I do stay in hotels I generally have to turn the heating off or at least down, if I can, or open a window all night as it feels too stuffy.

But to get back to my point, living without central heating is not hard, it just takes a bit of adjustment if you have grown accustomed to it.  Luckily, the couple who sparked this post are being sent warm things to help them.

So, turn your heating off, save yourself a bit of money, get your 15 minutes of fame and get free things.  Easy.

On a more cheerful note, it has been a lovely day today.  The daffodils in the garden have recovered from the hammering the recent poor weather has given them and are starting to stand up and open.  The washing has been out on the line and most of it has dried.  I have had the doors and windows open and aired the house, for a short while anyway.

I took my first anti-depressant today too and I do feel better but I think that is talking to the doctor yesterday rather than the tablet working already, I don't think they are that fast.

I have also researched vitamin D online and have discovered that cereals and soymilk are both good sources, so cereals and soymilk for supper it is as I refuse to eat salmon or tuna, bleurgh. Off to the shop I go.

Blood Test Results Today.

It has been such a long week, even though it was just 4 days.

Tuesday was a bit of a catch up day, I really didn't want to go back to work and have to face people after 4 days off, I just wanted to hide in my bed, but I got there and I got through it.

Tuesday and Wednesday my line manager phoned in sick, we guessed that they would as they had been laying the foundations of a day off on the Tuesday.  I got so much done, without constant interruptions I was able to perform reconciliations of some of the accounts that we had been having issues with.  Today they returned, and as they returned so my confidence vanished as everything I had done was questioned.  I knew that I would need help with the things that were left to do today had my line manager not returned, but as one of my colleagues said, there is giving help and there is being patronising.  We are having a reshuffle at work in the next couple of weeks so hopefully I will be moving sections back to my old line manager.

Last night (Thursday) I had my first Crown Green Bowls match.  I joined the team about 6 months ago as something to get me out of the house for a few hours so that I would have at least a little bit of contact with people outside of work hours but it was so cold, by the time I had finished scoring the first game I could hardly feel my hands.  It was an ok night, not something I could become overly absorbed in but as something to keep me out of the house for while it was fine.

This is our team shirt.

I think I may have pulled something in my thigh during one of the ends.  It hurt.

On the walk home from the bus I took this photo, I do apologise for the quality of the photo, but the camera on my phone is not great plus it was late and it was cold.

Why do people think it is ok to park on the pavement?  I was able to get past these two, but there has been occasion when I have had to walk in the road.  A police car went past and did not even seem to notice these illegally parked cars, but I am guessing that if I had stepped into the road as they were passing I would have been stopped for jay-walking or whatever we call it over here.

Today I had my GP appointment to get my blood test results.  I actually went in early, I don't think I have been called in on time before, let alone early.  The doctor was lovely, really tiny and looking too young to have left secondary school let alone medical school (a sure sign I am getting old). She listened to me and then went through my results and my options.  I have a vitamin B12 deficiency, which can be solved by eating leafy greens (yuck) or an over the counter supplement and a vitamin D deficiency for which I have been given tablets for 6 weeks and then will need to take over the counter supplements, or move somewhere sunny (I like this option), if only we could draw nutrients from the cold and the rain we would all be fit as fiddles.

I also have been confirmed as having depression, which I had guessed I had more years ago than I care to remember.  I have been given 2 weeks worth of anti-depressants and a number to ring, this is for IAPT or Improving Access to Psychological Therapies, I need to speak to an adviser to see which treatment they feel would be best for me, this could be Guided Self Help, Individual Support, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy or a few other options.  The tablets do have side effects, but as long as the benefits outweigh the negatives they have got to be worth it.

I do actually feel so much better for speaking to someone so hopefully the only way is up now.

Hello, good evening and welcome...

Bonjour, bonsoir et bienvenue...

Здравствуйте, добрый вечер и добро пожаловать ...

Merhaba, iyi akşamlar ve hoş geldiniz

Hallo, guten Abend und herzlich willkommen ...

I have international readers! When I started this blog I was not expecting many readers amongst my friends, let alone people from foreign lands, and yet as I start this entry I have had 399 views. Thank you all.

I started this blog to chart my studies for my (originally) CIMA and now ACCA qualification but as it has progressed it seems to have become less about studying and more about how I feel and getting my feelings out there and whilst it does not make for the most riveting read, it does help me.

And now for today's moan.

With just two weeks to go to my first weekend of fancy dress I am still waiting for items to arrive from eBay.  I am still not happy with my outfits but it is too late now (unless anyone has any bright, but simple to do, ideas).  Also I have found out today that in addition to sourcing two completely different fancy dress outfits, we are now expected to decorate the function room in red, white and blue on the Saturday night and pink and purple on the Sunday night!  Easiest thing to do is tablecloths but everything takes up space in the case which gets heavier and heavier with every train it gets lugged on and off, every escalator it gets dragged up and down and every set of stairs it gets scraped up and down.  And for some reason, every time I have to cross London by tube almost every station I use has several flights of stairs instead of escalators.  This is assuming that the relevant stations and lines aren't closed for maintenance.

Up one side, dragging the case.  Back down the other side, the case dragging me.

If rumours are true, the venue will be changed next year.  And if other rumours are true, where the event will be held next year whilst not being any closer, will at least mean that I will not have to travel via London.

Now for a coffee and a hot cross bun.

UPDATE - just as I was previewing this post I hit the 400!

Back to work tomorrow, and I really don't want to go.

In much the same way that I was not looking forward to 4 days off work, I am now not looking forward to going back to work. Four days is just long enough for me to sink back into the comfortable little bubble of isolation and I do not want to have to leave the house and face people again.  It is going to be so hard to climb out of my safe bed at 5am tomorrow morning, and even harder not to get back into it.  It is a 4 day week too, so by the time I am just about getting used to facing people again I will be off for another 2 days.  It would be so easy to just pull the covers over my head and pretend the world outside does not exist.  Sometimes, though, even the bed feels too big, and I have been thinking about buying a single bed and moving into the box room.

I had cause to spend a night near Norwich last year and I had booked a single room in a hotel, I would normally book a double for single use but for just one night I didn't bother.  It was a very well appointed en-suite room but tiny too.  I could stand in the middle, stretch my arms out and touch the wall each side but I loved it.  I felt so safe and secure and could have moved in permanently, it was this feeling of security that has had me thinking about moving into the box room, but then I think that it would be a bit ridiculous sleeping  in the smallest room in an otherwise empty three bedroomed house.

It may happen still.

This afternoon I have completed my second interim assessment for ACCA, this one was on Audit and was a 'wordy' paper, (the previous was for Tax and was a 'number' paper), I just need to rewrite it now so that it can be read, scan it (that will be fun) and email it to my training provider.  My first exam is just 9 weeks away now, eeekkk.

Time, I think now, for a cup of coffee and a piece of cake.