Sunday, 9 June 2013

Sunday Night Mash Up

This week I have been mostly sitting exams, well two anyway.

The plan was that I would get into town about an hour early, go for a coffee, go to the loo (they were 3 hour exams, plus reading time, plus be at your desk 15 minutes before the exam) and aim to be at the test centre 5 or 10 minutes before I had to be.

As with every plan I ever make, it didn't happen, at least for the first exam.  I got stuck trying to cross the main road to get to the bus stop, I got to the island in the middle of the road and became stranded!  The traffic was non-stop and I just watched as the bus arrived at the stop down the road and then got closer and closer until it just sailed past me.  The road immediately became clear and I was able to get the rest of the way across.

For the next exam I left a couple of minutes earlier and there was no traffic.  I got into town and treated myself to a Chai Latte (and a bacon muffin, hehe) at Costa Coffee.  

Saturday I decided I was going to have a drink.  I have been really careful since I started on my Sertraline tablets, to begin with I avoided all alcohol, then I started having a glass of wine with food and I was fine with that, and it was enough.  Saturday, though, I really, really wanted a 'proper' drink.  I had a bottle of Smirnoff Ice, the big bottle, 75ml.

What a mistake.

I didn't feel poorly, but I did revert back to the pre-antidepressant me.  I felt evil and was picking fault with everything.  Everything I watched or read was wrong and had to be told so.  I took myself to bed at 7.30pm so that I didn't start commenting on facebook posts and upsetting people.

But I am glad that I did it, at least I know now that I shouldn't do it.  And finding out that it is not good whilst I was alone (which to be fair for 99% of non-working hours I am) at least meant that I have not alienated the few people that I do still see.  I will still have the occasional drink with meals as I found that it worked for me.

Today I have been very good and prepared some of my lunches for the week.  I need to save money if I am ever going to be able to afford the photo shoot that I have promised myself.  As the photographers (link here) is 'oop north', as well as the cost of the shoot itself, I need to have train fare and money for a hotel, so all donations gratefully received.

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